


Pathetic

by inatshej



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beacon Hills High School, Best Friends, Bisexual Derek Hale, Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Bisexuality, Chemistry, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Green-Eyed Monster, High School Student Derek, High School Student Stiles Stilinski, Human Derek Hale, Jealous Derek, Jealous Stiles Stilinski, Jealousy, M/M, Math and Science Metaphors, POV Derek, Pining Derek, Possessive Derek, Possessive Stiles Stilinski, Smut, Teen Angst, Teenage Drama, Teenagers, Video & Computer Games, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-12 00:54:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20555534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inatshej/pseuds/inatshej
Summary: Derek knows what he does is stupid, cruel, and pathetic, but he doesn't care anymore. Not when it's for Stiles.





	Pathetic

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Kiki on sterek discord. Thank you so much!  
Warning for one brief scene where Derek has sex with Kate while Stiles is watching (it's consensual). Other warnings for Derek dating Kate (endgame sterek) and swearing.

''My house is empty this Friday.''

''Oh yeah?'' asks Kate, disinterested. ''Stiles is coming?''

''Yeah,'' says Derek. ''Always. You?''

Kate gives him a filthy smile. ''Sure.''

* * *

''You dating Argent or Stilinski, Hale?''

''What?'' mutters Derek, looking up. ''I'm dating Kate.''

''You sure?'' asks Erica. ''You spend no time together.''

Derek frowns. ''We spend time together,'' he says.

''When was the last time you spoke to Kate for longer than 5 minutes?''

Derek has to think of an answer for a while.

Erica raises her eyebrows. ''You're pathetic, you know that?''

''Yes,'' replies Derek.

Erica cringes and walks away.

Boyd, coming their way, now freezes. He has probably just gathered the courage to talk to Erica but now he gives up and sits at his usual table. Derek would feel bad for him if he could feel bad for anyone but himself.

* * *

He thinks about Erica's words for one week. Then, two weeks later, he thinks about asking Kate out. He does it three weeks later.

It's not that he's shy, and he doesn't really care about Kate's reaction. It's just that they would have to talk and, and do something together. It won't be much time but still, he could spend that time with Stiles. Of course, Kate is his girlfriend but it's not...

Well, in the end, it's not the same. He's been friends with Stiles all his life. And Kate's alright but Derek doesn't see much point in seeking her out.

''Okay,'' says Kate, smiling oddly at him. ''Ice cream?''

''Sure.'' That will take less time than a movie or going to a restaurant.

Derek pays for their ice cream, wondering if getting a free sweet is what made Kate agree for the date. He's not bitter, though. He'd do the same in Kate's place.

Later, Kate kisses him. Her lips and tongue are cold and Derek almost grimaces but they are still kissing so he reels it in. Kate presses closer to him, then leans back and walks away, her hips swaying.

Derek doesn't feel anything but then again, he never did.

* * *

''Whoa, she's got it bad for you,'' mutters Stiles.

''Huh?'' Derek takes his eyes from Stiles' fingers playing with a pen. ''Who?''

''Uh, Kate Argent,'' replies Stiles and points with his head to the girl. ''Look at her.''

Kate has long, blond hair and she smiles confidently, seeing Derek looking at her. She has a tight dress, showing off her long legs. She's quite beautiful but it's odd how confidently she behaves if she likes Derek. When he'd realized his feelings for Stiles, he couldn't talk to him for a week. He blamed it on being disappointed with Fallout 76 when he's been looking forward to the game so much.

He still can't believe that Stiles took the excuse.

''You gonna ask her out?''

''Who?'' asks Derek again.

''Kate Argent,'' says Stiles slowly. ''Who else?''

''No one,'' replies Derek, looking at him. Stiles doesn't react. ''Why would I ask her out?''

''She's hot,'' says Stiles and shrugs. ''You're hot. You'd be hot together.''

And Derek wonders about inflicting jealousy. ''Okay,'' he says. ''I'll ask her out.''

* * *

Except, Stiles keeps asking, ''How far did you go?''

''We didn't,'' replies Derek.

Stiles looks at him, incredulous. ''Dude, how long are you together?''

''Six days,'' replies Derek. Then, _over two weeks_. Then, _I don't know, for a month? Does it matter?_

''Of course it matters,'' says Stiles. ''And still nothing?''

''Well, what did you expect?'' demands Derek, defensive.

''I mean, come on,'' starts Stiles. ''You're hot, she's hot, how hot would you two be together?'' he repeats. ''I could pay for that.''

Derek half laughs, half scoffs.

Stiles shrugs. ''I have eyes.''

''And imagination,'' adds Derek. Then, suddenly, ''You'd want to watch?''

Stiles looks at him before replying. ''What answer is the correct one?''

Derek wets his lips, suddenly excited at the idea of Stiles being there, watching him. ''I don't know,'' he says. The air between them feels charged. ''Which one is true?''

Stiles, hearing everything.

Stiles' flushed skin, like now. ''And if I said yes?''

''Okay.''

Stiles, almost close enough to touch.

''Okay.'' Stiles turns away suddenly. ''You know, to- to support you.''

''Yeah,'' says Derek and slowly takes his gaze away from Stiles. ''For safety.''

''To learn.''

''To help.''

Stiles nods. ''Yeah.''

* * *

Kate thinks it's hilarious and agrees in a heartbeat. Stiles obsesses over logistics, over who, where, and _how._ Derek can’t believe this was his idea.

''Fuck, Derek, just like that,'' says Stiles, breathless. ''One more finger, come on, more, please-''

''Shut up,'' mutters Kate, turning her head to glare at Stiles.

''You can shut up,'' replies Derek, and pushes one more finger into her. Kate hisses at the intrusion and embeds her nails into Derek's shoulders but Derek doesn't pay it any mind. He's completely focused on Stiles, watching them.

''I'm so close,'' says Stiles, his hand moving faster. ''Derek, give me-''

Derek grabs Kate's butt to show her entrance to Stiles and pushes three fingers inside. He can't look away from the way Stiles bites his lower lip and his eyes almost close, then he suddenly looks up at Derek.

''Come on,'' says Derek roughly, starting to jack himself off.

''Oh, seriously,'' mutters Kate, disappointed.

Stiles comes in hot spurts over his hand, Derek following soon after.

Kate sighs and moves away from Derek's lap to sit on the bed. ''Why won't we just have a threesome?'' she asks, completely unmindful of her nudity.

''What?'' Stiles blurts out, shocked. He pauses in cleaning himself, always quick and efficient, never showing more of himself than he has to. ''No way. It's not- I'm not- This isn't like, something... You know...''

Kate raises her eyebrows. ''Derek?'' she asks.

Derek shrugs. He's already dressing as well, can't look at anyone. He hates these moments after when he and Stiles have to find themselves on new ground, with different rules than just friends.

''See? He doesn't care,'' says Kate.

''No, that was a 'Stiles is right' shrug,'' argues Stiles. ''A 'no way we're doing that' shrug. I know Derek and this is a definite 'no' shrug.''

But Kate isn't listening to him anymore. Her focus has shifted to Derek as he's pulling up his jeans. He hates the attention Kate gives his body. It makes him feel as if his body isn't really his.

''Fine, okay,'' says Kate, cutting Stiles off as he's already started to talk again. ''Just a suggestion. Could be more fun for you too, you know?''

''No,'' replies Stiles, looking at her oddly. ''Not like – nope. Although,'' he starts, thoughtful, ''if I had a girlfriend-''

Derek whips his head to look at him.

Stiles grins. ''I'll be sure to return the favor.''

Derek had a lot of training keeping his face blank but now, he's close to breaking. Kate saves him, though.

''I'd be happy to join,'' she says.

''You're not invited'' says Stiles shortly. ''You're not, like, Derek's plus one. If anyone, that's me but I'd already be there.''

''You can't be Derek's plus one and have a girlfriend,'' Kate points out.

''Of course I can,'' replies Stiles. ''I'm Derek's plus one now and you're his girlfriend.''

''Yeah, because that's normal,'' says Kate flatly.

Stiles shrugs, unconcerned. ''We make it work.'' He straightens his shirt and says, ''I'm kinda hungry. Wanna order pizza, Derek?''

''Yeah,'' he says, keeping the relief from his voice. He can have Stiles for a bit longer again. 

* * *

''Shouldn't you spend this weekend with Kate?''

''No,'' replies Derek.

Stiles snorts. ''Come on. You've been over last time, and before that, I went to you, so like, you know. I'm trying to share.''

''Don't,'' replies Derek. ''I wanted to try out this game you were talking about. And besides, it's close to April, so...''

It's close to Stiles' mom's death anniversary.

Stiles gives him a soft smile, one that is worth every odd look from Erica and lingering gaze and touch of Kate. ''You're too nice.''

But there is nothing nice about Derek anymore. He is bitter and jealous, growing greedy every day. He hates each and every person for which Stiles gives a smile or a touch, he hates all of them but most of all, he hates himself.

* * *

''I'm breaking up.''

Kate slowly grins. ''Oh yeah? To date someone else?''

''No.'' Derek twists his mouth. ''I'm sick of this.''

''Oh, that.'' Kate rolls her eyes. ''Either way, you know, what I've seen and what I've done – that's mine.''

Derek's face burns and he looks away.

''So,'' starts Kate, drawing the word out, ''Stiles isn't dating anyone?''

In an instant, Derek's before her. ''Leave him alone,'' he snarls.

Kate watches him for a second and laughs. ''Jesus, this is pathetic.''

Derek doesn’t look at her. ''I know,'' he mutters.

Kate scoffs and walks away.

* * *

Derek would never think that Kate was the one to keep them together but there's a noticeable change after their break up. Stiles talks less and starts regarding Derek when he thinks Derek isn't looking.

''I don't know,'' Derek says when Stiles asks him why he broke up with Kate. ''Didn't work out.''

Stiles wants to ask more, Derek can see it, but he doesn't. 

And Derek knows what it means. Stiles doesn't confront him about it so Derek doesn't either. Maybe Stiles would want to try and grow to think of Derek that way but the fact that he doesn't feel this now, even after everything that Derek has done, after months of desperation and waiting – he's got enough. He doesn't want to hear the rejection. He doesn't want to know and so he stops seeking Stiles out. Stiles doesn't seek him out.

Derek eats lunches by himself. The classes are boring and his days predictable. Recently, the temperature has been rising and he hates when it's hot outside. He feels sweaty all the time. During a lunch break, he wants to buy a chocolate croissant but it's sold out. He takes raspberry bun instead. It's too sweet for him.

Erica sits at his table. ''You're alone,'' she says, looking at him. ''Why are you alone?''

Derek shrugs.

''You know, what you did was stupid, if not cruel.''

''Kate doesn't care'' he says, somehow defensive even though he hates what he did. ''I actually felt bad for her, you know? I was using her, after all. But she was – she doesn't regret it. She doesn't care,'' he repeats.

''I mean you,'' replies Erica. ''What you did was cruel to you.''

Derek doesn't know how to react. It's nice to hear something like that but he doesn't deserve it. He made so many mistakes he deserves to suffer because of them.

He takes another bite of the raspberry bun, then offers the rest of it to Erica. She says it's her favorite.

Derek notices Stiles watching him from the other side of the cafeteria, for once alone while Derek is talking to someone. He feels a twisted sort of satisfaction.

''Hey, want to go to the cinema this Friday? I'm still waiting for Boyd to decide whether he wants to ask me out or not. I can't tell.''

''Sure,'' says Derek, still looking at Stiles.

* * *

Derek doesn't hate Erica. He doesn't feel a wave of disgust every time he catches his reflection in the mirror anymore. He's not angry with Stiles, only regrets losing a friend.

People can't control their feelings. Stiles couldn't help not returning Derek's feelings. It hurts, still, but Derek likes to think that it'll pass. Or he'll just get used to it.

He misses spending time with Stiles. Erica doesn't like computer games and Stiles was great for that. Each Saturday, they would meet to play.

This is what he thinks about when walking through the corridor, then opens the door to Chemistry classroom and freezes in shock. Stiles is inside, sitting at one of the desks. Derek wonders for a second if it's a figment of his imagination.

''What are you waiting for, Mr. Hale?'' snaps Harris. ''Come in and sit down.''

''Yes,'' manages Derek and chooses the seat closest to the exit. He doesn't look at anyone, can’t do anything, too focused on Stiles' proximity.

''Well?'' asks Harris, annoyed. ''Take out your books. It's detention, you're supposed to be doing homework.''

Harris’ annoyance is like a disease. It spreads to everyone close by – Derek is infected as well. ''I can't do my homework if I don't understand the mater-''

''Take out your books,'' repeats Harris, ''and do your homework.''

Derek almost rolls his eyes but obeys.

''Very well. It's now quarter past 4 pm, so your detention will finish at 5 pm.''

''What?'' blurts out Stiles. ''I was here on time! I should finish earlier,'' he argues, then points to Derek. ''_He_ got here late!''

''This detention will be your lesson in solidarity, Mr. Stilinski,'' replies Harris. ''You're both students and you will both suffer the consequences of Mr. Hale's mistake.''

''But that's unfair!''

Harris ignores him, glancing at his watch. ''Now, there are better things to do for me than sit here with you-''

''There are better things for me too!''

''-so I'll leave and come back when it's time for you to go. Do you understand?''

''This is so unfair,'' complains Stiles.

''Then I'll see you both at 5.''

He leaves and Derek and Stiles stare after him in silence.

''I can't believe it,'' says Stiles. ''What an asshole!''

Derek doesn't reply, too surprised with how easily Stiles decided to talk to him.

''Why are you in detention anyway?'' asks Stiles, finally looking at Derek.

''Erica was explaining to me the task we're supposed to do on chemistry.''

''Figures,'' mutters Stiles. ''You suck at chemistry.''

Feeling brave with Stiles talking to him, Derek adds, ''I think Harris was just jealous of my attention.''

He intended the words as a joke but Stiles doesn't even smile.

''Erica explained it to you, huh,'' repeats Stiles, like he only registered the words now. ''You sure have gotten close recently.''

Derek doesn't understand the sudden change in the atmosphere. ''We're friends.''

Stiles scoffs. ''Your definition of a friend is very different from mine.''

Derek tenses, looking at him. ''What does that mean?''

Stiles raises his eyebrows. ''I've noticed Boyd watching Erica,'' he says instead. ''Is he there with you as well? Do you invite him over too?''

Derek's cheeks are hot with shame, then he feels all his blood drain from his face. ''No,'' he says.

''Oh really?'' asks Stiles, then stands up and starts slowly walking to Derek. ''I would guess so, if you're friends.''

''We are,'' says Derek weakly. He's watching Stiles, who seems to be sinking deeper into cold anger with every step.

''It seems Erica gets different rules, then,'' says Stiles, his gaze never leaving Derek. ''Why?''

Derek can only stare and somehow, that's what tips Stiles over.

''I asked _why_!'' he shouts, stopping barely an arm's reach away from Derek.

Derek drops his eyes. ''I don't know what you're talking about.''

''I think you do,'' replies Stiles. ''Look at me, Derek.''

Slowly, Derek stands up and then raises his gaze to meet Stiles'.

''Where did Erica even come from? How did you become, as you put it, _friends_?''

Derek licks his lips. He feels shaky. ''She just asked if I wanted to go to the cinema,'' he says, not quite sure where the words came from.

''And you agreed,'' finishes Stiles. His voice sounds oddly mild. ''Just as I was finally starting to notice things.''

''What – what things?'' asks Derek. He doesn't know where to look, Stiles seems to fill his whole field of vision.

''Yeah, Derek,'' says Stiles and moves even closer, so close their chests are almost brushing. ''What things could I have noticed?''

Derek's lips are parted as he's breathing, all his focus on Stiles' eyes and mouth.

Stiles steps away suddenly. ''But it doesn't matter now,'' he says. ''You're friends with Erica.''

In the turmoil of emotions, the most prominent one Derek can feel is anger. ''What does it have to do with Erica?'' he demands, moving after Stiles. ''Why do you keep talking about her?''

Stiles turns away. ''We should start doing homework.''

''_What?_''

Stiles steps away again so Derek grabs his arm. ''Stiles-''

Stiles lets out a self-deprecating laugh. ''What do you think, Derek?'' he asks and looks right at Derek. His eyes are shining. ''I can't be possibly jealous, can I?''

Derek doesn't answer but he has a firm hold over Stiles' arm. He won't let him go now. ''What?''

''It wouldn't make sense if I only started to realize how much I like you when you broke up with Kate, right?'' continues Stiles. ''I knew you didn't care for Kate. But once you broke up, you could be with anyone. I could see all of that – you meeting someone, starting to date seriously. But you know what would be _the fucking best_?''

Derek can't respond, looking at Stiles with wide eyes.

''If I only realized you liked me when it was over,'' says Stiles. ''When you already gave up. If I realized I want to try, it's freaking me out but it's_ you_ and I want to try but it's too late.'' Stiles tries to release himself but Derek tightens his hand instinctively. ''That's it. That's the story.'' He gives up and turns away, his other hand messing his hair. ''Oh, God, this is pathetic.''

''It's not,'' says Derek immediately, looking at Stiles like it's the first time he sees him. ''It's not. I only dated Kate because you suggested it. I only had sex with her because you said it would be hot. That's-'' Derek cuts himself off, his throat feeling tight, ''that's pathetic.''

Stiles turns to Derek. ''I hurt you.''

''And I hurt you,'' says Derek. He reaches for Stiles' hand and entwines their fingers, determined to keep touching him.

They are looking at each other again and it feels like they could kiss but Derek won't move in. Too many times before he had to stop himself and he doesn't trust his instincts anymore, he'll always stop and doubt. But it doesn't matter – Stiles leans closer and kisses him softly, just planting a kiss on Derek's lips.

Derek sighs into the kiss and with his other hand grips the back of Stiles' neck, bringing him closer. He opens his mouth and licks Stiles' lips, pries them open, deepens the kiss. Stiles makes soft sounds but Derek keeps swallowing them, starts touching Stiles wherever he can reach. His hands settle on Stiles' hips for a second, then lower, bringing Stiles up. At once, Stiles' legs go around Derek and he moves Stiles on one of the desks.

It feels incredible, unreal yet true with Stiles' smell, sharp intakes of breath and the way he moves under Derek's palms.

''Derek-'' starts Stiles, one of his hands tightening in Derek's hair.

''Yeah,'' manages Derek, kissing and biting Stiles' neck.

''I thought about this,'' says Stiles suddenly, his breathing fast. ''Each time with Kate, I imagined it was me there instead of her.''

''Yes,'' agrees Derek, his hands shakily finding Stiles' bare skin under his shirt. ''Always. Kept looking at you.''

''Me too,'' says Stiles and kisses Derek again, hard and fast. ''But, God, even with all of that I still thought Kate attractive so I couldn't be gay,'' adds Stiles and lets out a disbelieving laugh. ''I'm sorry.''

''No, don't be,'' replies Derek. ''Kate doesn't care. We're togeth-'' he stops himself and leans back to look at Stiles. ''Are we-''

''Yes,'' says Stiles, no doubt in his voice. ''Together. Dating. Boyfriends.''

Derek smiles stupidly.

''And Erica is your friend,'' finishes Stiles.

Derek pauses, unsure of the meaning of the words. ''She really is my friend. And she's in love with Boyd.''

''I'm jealous,'' says Stiles. ''And possessive.''

''I'm worse,'' replies Derek and leans his head on Stiles' shoulder. ''All those people kept smiling at you-''

''That's why you were looking,'' realizes Stiles. ''I started to talk to as many people as I could just to make you look at me.''

''I did.''

''But, Derek, it's been- how long has it been for you?'' asks Stiles suddenly. ''When? When did it start?''

''When they released Fallout 76 and I didn't talk to you for a week.''

''I knew something was off with that,'' says Stiles. ''But then you were dating Kate and I – God, we're pathetic.''

Derek kisses him. ''It doesn't matter.''

Stiles leans back and glances up at him. ''How much time do we have before Harris comes?''

''I don't know,'' says Derek. His mobile is in his pocket, inches away, but that's too far from Stiles' skin. ''I don't care.''

''Okay,'' starts Stiles and licks his lips. ''We can- no, wait, you said you can't do your homework if you don't understand the material. And I can be a good boyfriend. I can help. I'll help. What topic?''

''Chemical bonds.''

Stiles grimaces. ''I'm not confident with that one. It's just that some chemical bonds are strong and some are weak, but how can you tell if this one will last or not? How can you be sure?'' He sighs and adds, ''But Erica's good at chemistry.''

Derek nods. ''She is. I actually wanted to meet her this weekend so that we can learn together but if you'd rather-''

''No,'' says Stiles and makes a face. ''Fuck, I don't like it. I really don't but that's so stupid. I'm just being jealous again.'' He pauses and says, ''Think Erica can explain chemical bonds to us both?''

''And to Boyd,'' says Derek. ''We'll say it's a study group.''

Stiles laughs. ''Okay. Now, how pathetic would it be if Harris realized what we've been doing?''

''Don't care,'' says Derek. He's never stopped touching Stiles, who feels warm and real under his palms.

Stiles grins. ''I don't care either.''


End file.
